Ditch Stress

It seems in our modern age we spend a lot of time chasing happiness. We experience never ending desire, fuelled by the media, and yet the more we get, it never seems to be enough. Like happiness is a never ending conveyor belt, an endless pit.

And we wait for happiness at the same time don’t we? I’ll be happy when: I get that raise, have a baby, finally buy a house, lose those 10 pounds. Happiness is always a step away, we just need one more thing, and then, we will be happy.

But joy, joy is different.

Last week my boss, who I treasure working with, let us know she was leaving her position, to take some time off and regroup, to find the next opportunity with her name on it. I was sad, but I was also really proud of her.

She told us that at a workshop we attended several months ago, they asked us: What brings you joy? When did you last experience it? When was the last time you felt joy at work? This started her on a joy revolution.

She started a joy inventory: What actually brings me joy? How can I add more of this to my life? I felt very inspired by this idea.

Then I was recently reading an interview with a musician, and they said something that caused a revolution in my mind: “Joy is something that we have to show up for”.

Show up. That’s the key. Because it can be really easy to go dark, to spend our time feeling jaded and frustrated. I know that is so easy for me.

At the same time, I am overwhelmed by the small reminders of beauty, of magic, of how amazing it is we live on the pale blue dot, and that everything is connected.

Showing up for joy is about paying attention. It is about focusing on the right things. Joy is a two way street.

Joy is all around us, we just need to look up.

I don’t mean this in some Pollyanna “everything is awesome” kind of way. But there is beauty amidst the pain we experience, even in the down times.

Like when work is a dumpster fire, but you and your work wife/husband band together with bad jokes and good coffee to make it through.

Like in moments of grief or loss, when you remember a really joyous moment you had with them, or how much they would hate the party you find yourself at.

Like when it’s been a long damn day, and then your dog does something so funny or adorable that you laugh despite your annoyed exhaustion.

Joy can thrive even in the darkest place.

And this isn’t all new age fluff either: Experiencing joy is an antidote to stress.

Focusing on joy has a direct, measurable impact on your physical health. It has been consistently linked to lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It even helps temper the release of adrenaline (epinephrine) during stressful situations.

Joy is associated with the release of “feel-good” neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. These enhance your sense of well-being, promote calm, and can even help relieve pain.

It even boosts your heart health and immune system. And thanks to neuroplasticity, focusing on joy can rewire your brain, making it easier to experience joy and manage stress in the future. 

Regularly embracing joy helps you develop better coping strategies, which in turn makes you more resilient to future stressors.

So how can you make space for more joy?

Find practices or rituals that help you show up for joy. Maybe that’s a walk without your phone (fall colours can make this VERY enjoyable). Or music that just makes you feel seen, or lifted or like moshing.

Do a joy inventory. Sometimes life gets into a rut, every day starts seeming the same, we fall into boring routines. Ask yourself: What brings me joy? Really really. I like to make things pretty, so I’ve been following that and getting crafty.

Make it happen. Joy isn’t always gonna fall in your lap. We have to keep our eyes and ears open for it. We have to put aside time for those joyful things. Joy is all around us, but we have to meet it half way.

Ask yourself ‘what brought me joy today?’ before bed. Honestly, life can get so life-y that if someone asks us, we don’t even know the answer to: What brings you joy? So, when you’re curling up under those sheets, ask yourself.

To be clear: I’m not saying we should feel joyful 24/7. That’s not realistic, and honestly, it would be exhausting to try. We’re human. We’re going to have bad days, frustrating moments, times when joy feels far away.

The goal isn’t to be joyful all the time—it’s to spend more time there, to notice it more often, to let it in when it shows up.

I’m still learning to show up for joy myself. Some days I forget.

But thinking about my joy inventory, looking up, showing up for joy—it’s creating a shift for me.

Now you! Tell me: What brings you joy? Feel free to add photos!