This is kind of a crazy story that still gives me chills when I think about it!
We’ve all been trapped in stressful situations that feel endless—situations where you’re stuck with no clear way out. This is my story.
March 2017 was a very tumultuous season for me. First I had to quit boxing due to a retinal injury. Then a botched dental procedure left me in weeks of pain. And finally, the biggest whammy: The house I’d been renting, that felt like home, where I’d lived the longest in my adult life, was getting sold.
We had two months to find a new place, in one of the most unaffordable cities in the world.
Life felt like a stress sandwich, and I was fretting with most of my available brain space. After hunting for new places, going to showings, and not having any luck, I was looking at homelessness, which was totally terrifying.
Then I found what seemed like salvation: the perfect place in the right neighbourhood! Sure, the rent was a crushing $800 a month increase that I couldn’t afford, but when your choice is pay more or be homeless, you find a way. We scraped together what we could and signed. But hey, at least it was bright and clean, with a kitchen window and lots of space. I was determined to make this work – maybe this could still be my dream home.
That was until the first weekend after we moved in. This is when I became aware that my downstairs neighbour was a hardcore partier.
I don’t mean like has a few friends over, but like ragers every night. Loud music, smoking in the shared outdoor area, scream-singing ‘Dancing Queen’ at 3 am. All of this accompanied by mysterious thumping that made me wonder if she was rearranging furniture or training for American Ninja Warrior.
I did mention this to our landlord, and he did have a word, but it didn’t really change much. She still partied, and even when she wasn’t partying, the mysterious sounds continued. My theories grew increasingly elaborate: Was she operating a small bowling alley? Teaching a clog dancing class? Building IKEA furniture in the dark?
At this point, there was nothing I could do. I just signed a one year lease. I was stuck.
I’ll admit, at first I resisted. Got angry. Focused all my energy on how much I hated all of the noise. This, however, did nothing to change my situation. In fact, it only made things worse.
So what did I do? The only thing I could think of.
I gave her a silly nickname: THE KRAKEN.
Something magical happened when I gave her that nickname. Suddenly, it wasn’t an inconsiderate neighbor downstairs—it was a mythical sea creature having the time of her life.
Humour has Power
When we lose the ability to laugh, we lose resilience. Humour gives us space, distance from the things that trouble us, the ability to shift perspective.
Once I had the nickname, it allowed me to find the funny and absurd side of the situation. I would joke about how the loud noises were just the Kraken rocking around in her enclosure.
I giggled thinking about giant tentacles being difficult to manage in a small apartment. As I started crafting these ridiculous scenarios, I could actually feel my body changing. My shoulders would drop when I heard the thumping below – instead of tensing up, I’d think “there she goes again, probably wrestling with eight arms worth of laundry.”
I didn’t know it then, but humor was doing real work in my system: reducing stress hormones like cortisol, releasing endorphins that act like natural painkillers, even relaxing my muscles for up to 45 minutes after a good laugh. This gave me the distance I needed. The noise started to feel less overwhelming and more manageable.
Changing How You Feel
There are really two main ways to change how you feel: How you act or how you think. Ideally, we try action first, we step boldly towards our problems, and take the best action that we can. But sometimes we are stuck in awful situations with no foreseeable end in sight.
That’s when you have to change the way you think. And in my case, it started with a silly nickname.
I realized I’d stumbled onto something important:
When you can’t change what’s happening to you, you can still change what it means to you.
As Victor Frankl wrote: “When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Now, I want to be clear – this isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. Some situations genuinely need real action, real help, real change. But when you’ve done everything you can and you’re still stuck, reframing can be the difference between drowning and floating until the tide turns.
The Totally Crazy Part
Here is where things get wild. I moved in May and by July, the Vancouver Mural Fest began. This amazing festival had artists from all over the world come and paint spectacular murals on buildings all around town.
And I was lucky enough to have one RIGHT ACROSS the alley! I couldn’t believe it. Then he starts to paint the outline, and I am totally gobsmacked.
I text my friend a photo of his progress, and she writes back: “Is that really a…”
Yes, literally 20 feet from my window, a man is painting a giant octopus.
The mural’s title is: The Kraken by Tyler Toews.
It’s a beautiful, ginormous octopus, and proof that the universe was listening.
The truly wild part? Within weeks of the mural going up, the Kraken went quiet. I’d see her sometimes – she’d shaved her head Britney-style and the constant stream of party guests had stopped.
I never knew if she was going through something dark or if the universe had simply moved her story along too. But by then, my reframing practice had become so strong that I found myself hoping she was okay, rather than celebrating the silence.
I know how this sounds – like some cheesy manifestation story I made up for social media. But I have the photos, the texts with my friend, the exact address if you want to Google Street View it.
That mural stayed up for years, and every time I walked past it, I was reminded: your problems don’t have to define your experience. Sometimes the shift in perspective is all it takes – and, if you’re really lucky, a giant octopus appears to remind you that you’re on the right track.
If you enjoyed this post, a like, share, or comment helps others find my work and join this little corner of the internet where we figure out how to stress less—together, finding tools (and octopuses 🐙) to lighten the load.
Ditch Stress 
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