Embrace Your Misunderstood Era

If you start trying any of the tips that I share here at Ditch Stress, one thing is certain:

People will begin to ask questions and make comments.

Why does this happen?

When you start changing your habits, it shines a light on the status quo around you.

It’s called social comparison—we’re always measuring ourselves against others. So when you skip dessert, go to bed early, or say no to another drink, it can make people feel like their own choices are being judged, even if you’re not judging at all.

Plus, we’re wired to like things staying the same because it feels safe. Your changes mess with the group’s normal, and that can make people uncomfortable or defensive.

Photo by Aditya Vyas on Unsplash

What are they comparing you against?

Most people aren’t exactly thriving when it comes to daily habits—and the numbers prove it.

Sleep — About one-third of adults get less than 7 hours a night; the typical person sleeps only 6–7 hours.

Screen Time — People spend an average of 6 hours 40 minutes a day on screens globally, and up to 10 hours a day in the U.S.

Outdoor Time — 75% of UK children spend less than one hour outside daily—less than prison inmates are required to.

Exercise — Only 1 in 4 U.S. adults meet both aerobic and strength guidelines; worldwide, inactivity affects 1.8 billion adults.

Diet — The average adult eats just 1 serving of fruit and 1.5 servings of vegetables per day, far below the 5 recommended.

Hydration — Nearly half of U.S. adults (47%) drink fewer than 4 cups of water daily.

Alcohol — 1 in 6 U.S. adults binge drink, averaging 7 drinks per session.

Loneliness — 1 in 2 adults report measurable loneliness, linked to higher risk of heart disease and stroke.

So needless to say, if you start taking better care of yourself, you are going against the grain.

You’re inadvertently becoming a mirror that reflects back everyone else’s habits. And mirrors can make people very uncomfortable.

What Happens When No One Gets It

Here’s the tough part: change is already hard. And when the people around you don’t get it—or worse, make jokes about it—it can feel like you’re climbing uphill with a backpack full of bricks.

Humans are wired for belonging. We want to fit in, to feel accepted. So when your new habits make you “the odd one out,” it stings. It can make you second-guess yourself, or even feel tempted to slip back into old patterns just to keep the peace.

But here’s the flip side: every time you stick with your choice, even without the cheer squad you wish you had, you’re building something stronger than approval.

You’re building self-trust.
And that’s the kind of support that never leaves your side.

So what should you do?

1. Expect Friction
Who knows, maybe everyone you know and love and work with are all supportive. But it’s probably best to plan for the worst-case scenario: getting a lot of flack.

When I quit drinking, there was an odd mix of supportiveness and also an uncomfortable miasma when we hung out. They didn’t know how to relate, I was maybe “more fun” before, they felt weird about drinking or talking about drinking around me.

The same thing happens when you start going to bed at 9 PM while everyone else stays up scrolling, or when you order a salad while the group gets pizza. People don’t know how to read the new version of you.

But if you expect that kind of friction, it makes it feel a little less awkward.

2. Expand Your Circle
If we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with, then this would be a great time to add a few like-minded folks to your tribe.

This doesn’t mean you never talk to your friends or family again, it’s just adding in a few new people who share your love of meditation or running. Join a group, try a class, go to a meetup.

These people can help normalize what seems like a weird new habit that you have. Sometimes all it takes is one other person who gets it to remind you you’re not alone.

3. Find Your Gut-Punch Motivation
Here we want the reason you are doing what you do, the kind of eye watering you get when something really hits you in the feels.

When the going gets tough—and believe me, it will—you need an anchor. Something to hold on to when everything in you wants to give up and listen to all the people who might be encouraging you to quit.

Maybe it’s staying fit so you can play with your grandkids, or lifting weights so that you can still manage on your own later in life. This why needs to be personal. It needs to have a big feeling attached to it that you experience whenever you think about it.

4. What Other People Think of Me Is None of My Business
One of the most helpful mindset shifts I learned when I started changing my habits was this: No one has to understand me.

If someone thinks I’m crazy or weird, it’s not my business. It is my business to care for the people in my life who matter and to work towards my goals.

You do NOT have to be understood by people, or even try. Do what you need to do. It’s your life.

Own Your Misunderstood Era

Embrace being the misunderstood weirdo and work towards your goals. The people who matter will either come around or they won’t—but either way, you’ll be building the life you actually want instead of the one everyone else expects you to have.

The next time someone gives you that look when you order water instead of wine, or questions why you’re going to bed early—remember that their discomfort isn’t your problem.