You’re doing everything right — chasing goals, ticking boxes, leveling up — and somehow, you still feel anxious and empty. What gives? The Stoics saw this coming 2,000 years ago. And they had a surprisingly simple fix.
In our relentless pursuit of more — more success, more possessions, more recognition — we often find ourselves trapped on what psychologists call the hedonic treadmill.
We chase the next achievement, purchase, or milestone, believing it will finally deliver lasting happiness. Yet each victory proves temporary, and we find ourselves right back where we started: wanting, chasing, never quite satisfied.
The ancient Stoics understood this predicament over two millennia ago. Rather than fighting our nature, they developed contemplative practices designed to shift our perspective — from scarcity to abundance, from external dependency to internal freedom.
The Gap Between Desire and Fulfilment
That nagging feeling that you’re not quite where you should be? You’re doing okay, but some part of you keeps whispering: shouldn’t you be further along?
At the heart of human suffering lies a persistent gap—the space between where we are and where we think we should be.
Our brains often confuse wanting something with it making us happy. Dopamine plays a big role here.
We chase things we predict will satisfy us… and they usually don’t.
The Stoics recognized that we have two fundamental approaches to closing this gap: we can either continually chase new desires (the treadmill approach), or we can learn to appreciate what we already possess.
The first path leads to endless striving and inevitable disappointment.
The second leads to what the Stoics called ataraxia — a state of serene calmness and composure.
The Practice of Negative Visualization
One of the most powerful Stoic techniques for cultivating appreciation is negative visualization, or premeditatio malorum—literally “the premeditation of evils.”
Sounds dark, right? “Negative visualization”? But stick with me — it’s not about spiraling into worst-case scenarios. It’s actually about rewiring your brain for more gratitude and less stress.
Here’s how it works (and yes, you can do this while sipping your coffee):
Choose something precious in your life.
This might be your health, your home, a cherished relationship, your job, or even something as simple as your morning coffee ritual.
The key is selecting something you genuinely value but may have started taking for granted.
Imagine its temporary loss.
Close your eyes and vividly picture this precious thing being removed from your life.
If it’s your health, imagine receiving difficult news from a doctor.
If it’s a relationship, picture the person moving far away or the relationship ending.
If it’s your job, visualize receiving notice of termination.
Sit with the emotion.
Don’t rush past the sadness, fear, or anxiety that arises. These feelings are natural and important.
Allow yourself to fully experience what it would mean to lose this thing you value.
Notice how much it actually means to you.
Return to reality with renewed appreciation.
Open your eyes and remember that you still have this precious thing in your life.
Observe how your perspective has shifted.
What seemed ordinary a few minutes ago now feels like a gift.
When I first tried this, I imagined my life without coffee.
That I would never again enjoy a sip of this sweet nectar, never again starting my day with a cup of delicious comfort.
When I had my next cup of coffee, imagining it to be my last, I appreciated it in a way that I never knew possible.
I can tell you, the transformation that occurs with this practice is truly remarkable.
Colours seem more vivid, conversations more meaningful, and simple pleasures start to carry more weight.
You start to see your current life as not a stepping stone to future happiness, but as a collection of gifts worthy of deep appreciation.
Beyond Material Possessions: Contemplating Relationships and Experiences
While negative visualization works powerfully with possessions and circumstances, the biggest bang often comes when you apply it to relationships and experiences.
Try this with the people in your life.
Those whom you see regularly — family members, close friends, coworkers you enjoy (also, your dog).
Because we see them all the time, we often fail to appreciate what they contribute to our daily experience.
Imagine what your world would be like without your partner’s weird jokes, your best friend’s late-night texts, or even your coworker’s chaotic but fun energy. Contemplate how much quieter, less colourful, or less supported your world would be without their presence.
Kinda stings, right? But in that sting — boom — appreciation is born.
This practice works beautifully with experiences as well. Before your next meal, imagine what it would be like to go without food for several days. Then notice how this transforms your appreciation for the flavours and nourishment before you.
Before your next walk outside, contemplate being confined indoors for months, then step outside with fresh awareness of the miracle of movement, fresh air, and changing seasons.
Cultivating Gratitude as a Daily Practice
Gratitude, in the Stoic framework, is not merely a pleasant feeling but instead a fundamental orientation toward reality. It’s the result of truly seeing what we have rather than fixating on what we lack. But like any skill, gratitude requires regular practice to develop strength and consistency.
Beyond negative visualization, consider a gratitude practice:
Specific Appreciation: Instead of generic thankfulness, focus on specific qualities of what you appreciate. Rather than “I’m grateful for my health,” try “I’m grateful for my legs’ ability to carry me up stairs.”
Gratitude for Difficulties: This advanced practice involves finding genuine appreciation for challenges and setbacks. What strengths have you developed through overcoming obstacles?
Appreciating the Ordinary: Challenge yourself to find wonder in routine experiences. Like the miracle of running water, everyday phenomena are truly extraordinary when viewed with fresh attention.
The Paradox of Letting Go
Once you’ve developed this gratitude practice, you might wonder: what about my goals and ambitions?
One of the most counterintuitive aspects of Stoic practice is how letting go of our desperate need for specific outcomes often makes us more effective at achieving our goals. When we’re no longer paralyzed by fear of failure or intoxicated by fantasies of success, we can respond to situations with greater clarity and creativity.
This doesn’t mean becoming indifferent to outcomes or abandoning ambition. Instead, it means holding our goals lightly—working toward them with full effort while recognizing that our happiness doesn’t depend on achieving them exactly as planned.
This mindset reduces the anxiety that often sabotages our efforts and allows us to adapt more flexibly when circumstances change. And adaptation is key to long term success.
What to do When Gratitude Feels Impossible
But here’s what often happens: you practice negative visualization, feel that surge of gratitude, and then—life hits. A difficult conversation, an unexpected bill, a health scare. Suddenly that appreciation feels fragile. The Stoics anticipated this challenge.
In modern times we often treat stress as an enemy to be defeated or avoided. The Stoics had a more nuanced approach. They understood that emotions—including stress, anxiety, and fear—arise naturally from our interpretations of events, not from the events themselves.
Marcus Aurelius, the philosopher-emperor, reminded himself daily that “you have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” This doesn’t mean we can simply think our way out of difficult emotions, but it does mean we can learn to observe our thoughts and reactions with greater objectivity.
When stress arises, the Stoic approach begins with pausing to observe what’s actually happening in your mind and body—what thoughts are generating the stress, what physical sensations you’re experiencing.
Then comes the most fundamental Stoic principle: distinguish between what you can and cannot control. Make a clear mental division between what lies within your influence and what doesn’t, then focus your energy only on what you can actually affect. This means channeling your energy toward effective action rather than futile resistance to unchangeable circumstances.
Making It Part of Your Life
It’s one thing to understand these ideas — it’s another to live them. The power of Stoic thought comes not from reading about it once, but from repeating and It’s one thing to understand these ideas — it’s another to live them. The power of Stoic thought comes not from reading about it once, but from repeating and returning to the practice.
Start simple. Pick one idea that resonates — maybe taking five minutes each morning for negative visualization, or reminding yourself that everything is borrowed. Write it down. Return to it. Let it work on you.
Over time, this isn’t just something you “do” — it becomes how you think. How you breathe through traffic jams and tough emails. And as this quiet discipline settles in, life subtly changes: relationships feel less like scoreboards and more like shared appreciation, work feels steadier, and you build an inner compass that doesn’t swing with every headline.
Stoic contemplation is not a quick fix but a lifelong practice. Some days it will feel natural and transformative; other days forced or ineffective. That’s totally normal.
You don’t need to overhaul your life—just small moments of reflection. A little gratitude here. A deep breath there. A reminder that what you’re chasing might already be sitting beside you.
You don’t need to master Stoicism. You just need to keep coming back. One moment at a time.
So, what’s one ordinary thing you could see with fresh eyes today?
(P.S. If you try negative visualization, let me know how it goes. Weirdly powerful, right?)
Ditch Stress 
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