Ever feel like your body reacts to stress before you even know what’s happening? That’s your nervous system in action! Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, helps explain why.
Think of your nervous system as your body’s built-in security system. It’s constantly scanning for signs of danger or safety—without you even realizing it. When it senses safety, you feel calm and connected. But when it picks up on stress or threats (even small ones like a tense email or an unexpected noise), it shifts into survival mode—triggering fight, flight, or freeze.
At the heart of this system is the vagus nerve, a kind of superhighway connecting your brain, heart, and gut. When it’s working well, it helps you stay regulated and resilient. But when stress takes over, it can leave you feeling anxious, disconnected, or overwhelmed.
A fantastic book titled Anchored by Deb Dana takes this science and makes it practical, showing how we can work with our nervous system instead of feeling hijacked by stress. By learning to recognize our body’s signals and use simple techniques to shift back into calm, we can train our nervous system to handle stress better.
Your Nervous System Reacts Before Your Brain
Ever feel anxious or on edge for no obvious reason? That’s your nervous system working behind the scenes! One of the biggest takeaways from Polyvagal Theory is that our nervous system reacts to the world before our conscious brain even has a chance to catch up.
That’s because our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is always on the lookout for safety or danger. It does this through a process called neuroception, which is basically our body’s built-in alarm system. It’s constantly scanning the environment and deciding—without our input—whether we should relax, run, or shut down.
Think about it: Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt uneasy, even before you could put your finger on why? Or maybe you’ve felt comforted by someone’s presence before they even said a word. That’s neuroception in action! Your body reacts first—maybe with a racing heart, tense shoulders, or a sinking feeling—before your mind catches up with a reason.
Understanding this is a game-changer. Instead of trying to control our thoughts first, we can start working with our body’s natural responses to shift ourselves back into a state of calm and connection.
Glimmers: Tiny Sparks of Safety and Connection
We all know stress can hijack our nervous system, but here’s the good news: our body is also wired for safety and connection—we just have to recognize it! That’s where glimmers come in.
Glimmers, a term from Anchored, are those micro-moments of ventral vagal energy—times when we feel calm, safe, or connected, even if just for a few seconds. These tiny moments build resilience and help our nervous system settle.
Glimmers can be:
✨ The warmth of the sun on your skin
✨ The sound of a loved one’s laughter
✨ The coziness of your favorite blanket
✨ The smell of coffee in the morning
The more we notice and savor these glimmers, the more we train our nervous system to shift out of stress mode and into safety.
A great way to start? Set an intention to look for glimmers throughout your day—then pause and fully take them in. This simple practice rewires your nervous system over time, creating an upward spiral toward calm and connection.
Savoring: The Art of Amplifying Safety
Noticing glimmers is step one—holding onto them is step two! That’s where savoring comes in.
Savoring is the practice of intentionally soaking in positive moments. It’s like stretching out the feeling of safety and connection so your nervous system gets the full benefit.
Here’s how to do it:
👉 Pause—When you notice a glimmer, don’t rush past it.
👉 Hold onto it—Try to stay with the feeling for 20-30 seconds.
👉 Engage your senses—What do you see, hear, smell, feel?
👉 Resist the urge to dampen it—If your mind tries to downplay the moment, gently bring it back.
At first, savoring might feel tricky—especially if you’re used to brushing past positive moments. If 20 seconds feels too long, start with just 5-10 seconds and build from there. Over time, this helps retrain your nervous system to focus on safety instead of stress.
Your Story Changes with Your State
Ever notice that when you’re calm, life feels manageable—but when you’re anxious, everything seems overwhelming? That’s because your nervous system shapes the stories you tell yourself.
✅ When you’re in a ventral vagal state (safe & connected), your inner voice is positive: “I’ve got this.”
⚡ When you’re in a sympathetic state (fight or flight), your thoughts turn anxious: “Everything is going wrong.”
🔻 When you’re in a dorsal vagal state (shut down), the story can feel hopeless: “What’s the point?”
This shift isn’t just in your head—it’s biological. Anchored reminds us that changing your state changes your perspective. Recognizing when you’re in survival mode can help you use tools—like glimmers and savoring—to bring yourself back to balance.
The Stretch, Savor, Stress & Survive Continuum
One of the most helpful ideas in Anchored is the stretch, savor, stress, and survive continuum. This framework helps us understand how different experiences impact our nervous system and how we can stay in a zone that supports growth and well-being.
Imagine a scale ranging from deep relaxation to full-blown stress:
🔹 Savor = This is your recharge zone. You feel safe, calm, and connected. Think of moments like enjoying a warm cup of tea, cuddling with a pet, or listening to soothing music.
🔹 Stretch = This is your challenge zone. You feel slightly uncomfortable but not overwhelmed. It’s where growth happens—like learning something new, trying a slightly difficult workout, or having a meaningful but vulnerable conversation.
🔹 Stress = This is your warning zone. You’ve pushed too far, and your nervous system is sounding the alarm. You might feel anxious, irritable, or exhausted. It’s time to pull back and regulate.
🔹 Survive = This is your emergency mode. Your body is in full fight, flight, or shutdown mode. You might feel frozen, panicked, or completely drained. Your nervous system is in survival mode, and the priority is finding ways to re-establish safety.
The key? Stay in the stretch zone as much as possible. This is where growth happens—without tipping over into stress or survival mode. Recognizing where you are on this scale helps you make choices that keep your nervous system regulated.
Nourishing vs. Depleting: What’s Helping (or Hurting) Your Nervous System?
A simple but powerful question from Anchored is: Is this nourishing or depleting my nervous system?
Your nervous system is constantly responding to what you do, think, and experience. Some things help you feel grounded and resilient, while others push you toward stress or burnout.
Ask yourself:
💖 Nourishing = Leaves you feeling energized, connected, and supported.
💔 Depleting = Drains you, overwhelms you, or nudges you toward fight, flight, or freeze.
The more you move toward nourishing experiences—and minimize depleting ones—the easier it becomes to stay regulated. It’s not about eliminating stress entirely (that’s impossible!), but about building a life that supports your nervous system rather than exhausts it.
A Simple Reframe: “I’m So [Feeling], I Could [Action]”
Here’s a small but mighty mindset shift: Instead of just identifying a feeling, attach an action to it. This simple tweak helps you move from emotional overwhelm to empowered action.
For example:
❌ “I’m so anxious I could scream.”
✅ “I’m so anxious I could take a deep breath.”
❌ “I’m so stressed I could shut down.”
✅ “I’m so stressed I could go for a walk.”
This trick gently redirects your nervous system toward a solution-oriented state rather than keeping you stuck in distress. The goal isn’t toxic positivity—it’s giving your brain and body a next step that actually helps.
The Power of Awe, Gratitude & Connection
Want an instant way to shift your nervous system? Tap into self-transcendent emotions like awe, gratitude, and connection.
💫 Awe—Being in nature, looking at art, or witnessing something bigger than yourself can shift you into a ventral vagal state.
🙏 Gratitude—Focusing on what’s good (even small things) activates feelings of safety and connection.
💖 Forgiveness—Letting go of resentment can free up nervous system energy for calm and connection.
These moments remind us we’re part of something greater—and that in itself can be deeply regulating.
Caring for Your Nervous System
At the end of the day, self-care is nervous system care. A few simple ways to support yourself:
✔ Tune in—Pause and check in with how your body feels.
✔ Take in—Engage your senses to ground yourself in the moment.
✔ Be flexible—Allow yourself to adapt rather than rigidly pushing through stress.
✔ Prioritize self-care—Move, rest, and connect with what feels good.
✔ Build community—Connection is one of the strongest regulators of the nervous system.
By incorporating these small shifts, you can create a more balanced, resilient nervous system—one that helps you handle life’s ups and downs with greater ease.
Small Shifts, Big Impact: Nurturing Your Nervous System
By embracing Polyvagal Theory and the practical tools in Anchored, we can move out of survival mode and into a state of calm, connection, and resilience.
So, what’s one small step you can take today to anchor yourself in safety? Maybe it’s noticing a glimmer, savoring a peaceful moment, or simply checking in with your body. Whatever it is, know that every tiny shift adds up—and your nervous system will thank you for it.
Ditch Stress 
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